How to overcome stress in life is a question many successful people also ask. Yet, very few know that what is generally known as stress is a state of mind and body that exists when there is a gap between what one needs and what one has. The current state and the aspired state are relative. When you want to know as to how to overcome stress in life, what you could be actually asking is how can I overcome internal blocks that stop me from achieving my goals
Stress is the largest Killer disease. Many are wondering how to overcome stress. Yet the real secret on learning how to overcome stress in life is to realize that stress is a state of mind. So you cannot handle or overcome stress directly. You can create a state of mind that never gets stressed. I will show how in the next ten minutes
For example, I have three packs of chocolates of a brand that I love. I see another with five packs of the same chocolate. I may feel unhappy if I cannot afford to buy two or three more. I also see another who just sees the chocolates and not able to buy. Who is more unhappy or who is happy? Who has more stress and who has less? When I have my child with me who wants two more to be as happy as the one who have five chocolate packs, it adds to my stress. The question then it “How to overcome stress in life” “When will this end?”
Stress is thus relative which means that stress not an object. It is very subjective. When I am very hungry and no restaurants around, I eat in the first one and get satisfied. When I am not that hungry, but in a street filled with restaurants I choose a specific cuisine and choose my dish. I may still be less happy than the first instance where I did not have a choice to choose because I was hungrier then.
How to overcome Stress in life, when stress is a state of mind?
So stress is neither hunger or food or inability to buy what I want as even those who have what they want materially are stressed.
When one asks the question, ‘How to overcome stress in life?’, my question is how you will overcome something that you cannot see, hear, or smell or taste.
How to overcome Stress in life?
Stress is a state. Water turns in to ice when made to freeze and turns in to vapor when heated. Liquid – Gas – solid(ice) are three different states. This change in state happens as it is subjected to changes in the environment. Water as water can undergo these changes as it is not conscious of the change it is being subjected.
As humans we are subjected to external forces, and we do not like that. We would like to manage that state in which we are. We would like to feel empowered, and we really become a master of our life, when we learn this mastery.
In this ten-minute article, I will share the most common questions that one keeps asking to oneself and others when one experiences a stressful state.
How to overcome stress and depression?
How to Overcome Stress and Anxiety?
You may wonder as to why so many questions are related to stress. The truth is stress, anxiety, tension, depression are many different challenging states which we commonly experience.
Anxiety, is a state that is characterized with thoughts about what may happen in future.
Depression is a state that is characterized with thoughts, emotions and feelings about what happened in the past.
When either of the above happen muscles seem to be tensed, heart beat goes up, a state of fear grips up which is normally expressed as tension.
When there is stress there is a type of tension created in the system. The body becomes tense, muscles get tight ready to act. When one is always ready to act, the state becomes uncomfortable. The one naturally asks ‘How to overcome stress and tension”
Depression is a state when one constantly indulges in thoughts related to certain events that did not go well in the past. This affects the present. When I am not able to succeed at work, as I have failed a few times in my work in the past, then the natural question is ‘How to overcome Stress at work?”.
Can a good Job Make one Stress-Free? How to overcome stress at work?
Many dream to have a job that I stress free. Yet I challenge them with the answer, ‘it is not possible to get a jog that is stress free. Yet the right question is how to overcome stress at workplace? If one is stress free then the job become more peaceful. Not the other way around. Anxiety is state when I am worried about what will happen in future. In workplace stress it shows up when one has fear of meeting deadlines.
There is an interesting article in HBR that describes in length as to how even smart people underperform due to stress. The answer is if one knows to maintain a calm internal state of mind, job becomes stress free.
How to overcome stress in Relationships?
Same is the case with relationships. The question is not ‘How to I get a relationship that can give me a stress-free life?’ The right question is ‘How to overcome stress in relationship?’ The truth is relationships trigger the happiness or unhappiness already inside each of us. For example, if your child does not take a subject of your choice for his career, you can be happy that he is making his own choice or you can be unhappy and stressed that he is not listening to what you say. Learning how to overcome stress in parenting is also the most commonly asked question.
Stress is relationships affect work-life, career growth and financial success.
It is my response to what happens to me in a relationship that can make experience happiness or unhappiness. When I expect the other person to make me happy, what I really want is that the other should behave or act the way I want. This is the same expectation the other also has from you. So, there may seem to be no logical way to be happy as neither the other can never be the way I want nor can I be the way the wants. In fact, the moment I treat the other as not a part of me. there is friction.
How to overcome Stress in Parenting?
Parenting is a process of helping the child grow and discover himself or herself. As a child each of us wanted to be free and happy. Yet many of us were boxed into certain type of thinking patterns that made us feel constricted. In fact many feel that entire childhood and adulthood has been sacrificed to comply to the needs of the other. This leaves many with remorse over parents.
Though many vouch not to make the same mistake with our children, when the activities and behaviour of our children cross a certain boundary, beyond our tolerability, we experience stress. This stress should lead us to treat the way our parents treated us leaving us with questions like “Why do I do something which I really hate”
When I am aware that it is me who is getting angry and frustrated, I may not ask for children to make my life stress free, by complying to what I say, which they will not and that will add to my stress levels.
What is Stress? How to overcome Stress in Life ?
Stress as I had mentioned before is a state. When one can learn to keep the internality calm stress and anxiety vanishes. To be more specific, our internality is a chemistry. When we are happy, we have a certain concoction of chemicals. When we are unhappy there is different concoction. This change happens and is happening every moment in our life. This happens unconsciously.
Hence if I rely on external factors; like wanting my spouse, children, colleague, customer etc to be with me the way I want them to be with me, I will be more dependent on their behavior; I may also hope that they comply with my needs. This expectation will add more stress than peace. Even if they do so, I may not be happy as fear may lurk inside with questions like – Will this continue? I hope that they do not change
How to Overcome Stress in Life ? A practical Approach.
Stress though is experienced as negative thoughts, beliefs etc, its primary place of existence is in the body. Either the blood pressure shoots up, sugar metabolism is affected etc. Hence by trying to manage stress with positive thoughts alone will give short term or less impactful results.
Thoughts come up within a fraction of a few seconds and thought control to begin with is difficult. Thought gets generated unconsciously every time we breathe.
An integrated mind body approach, starting with body movement and breath work can give long lasting results.
Practice clean inhalation exhalation with synchronized body movement based on the physical – physiological – emotional status of the mind will lead to long lasting results.
When the external physiological triggers in terms of blood pressure, sugar, pulse rate decreases or neutralizes it could mean that the internal neural system and endocrine system is calm. This naturally reduces inappropriate behavior and inappropriate actions.
The safe space to being work is to work with relationships. How to ‘How to Overcome stress in relationships?’ “How to overcome stress and Frustration?” are common questions. One area to being with is with relationships I am strongly associated with. Spouse, Children, immediate boss, close friends, people I hate the most, immediate subordinates at office, customers I interact with often, my work are the few examples of relationship zones I can begin to understand.
Choose one area of the above.
Find out what happens to me when I even think about them.
Pick up emotional reactions, thought patterns, opinions I have about them.
How many of the above thoughts, opinions, and beliefs I have about myself?
Can I work towards re-solving these in me?
What benefit will I get when I resolve them?
Answering the above will give yourself a deeper understanding about the location within you from which the following questions arise –
How do overcome stress?
How to overcome stress in life?
Can stress be overcome with medications alone?
Any medicine is a chemical. Medicines will give relief soon as they replace the missing chemical or suppress the excess chemical. At the same time before the effect of medicines wane of or before the dose is increased on should work to change life style and also learn the art of creating inner chemistry by oneself. This will give long lasting results
What is the difference between anxiety and depression?
Anxiety is fear of the future while depression is feeling remorse over the past events. Usually they are like twins.
How does untreated or unhealed stress affect the body?
When mind is in a state of stress, body is alert. Blood supply to vital organs are increased and supply to other organs are decreased. When this continues there is stress n the system. This leads to disease.